I recently went back to work after being a stay-at-home mom to my 3 littles for the last 3 years. I started working at a local hospital in the hopes that all of my problems with my dysregulated nervous system would be solved. I thought it was time to try working again and outsource my village. I needed other brains to come up with learning activities for them and peers to play with. And, quite frankly, I needed a minute to be an adult again. Being a stay-at-home parent can feel isolating. I don’t think we are meant to do this parenting thing alone. With my oldest being in 1st grade, the cost of childcare was finally within reach of our budget (what I didn’t know before having children is how the cost of childcare is the same, if not more, than a mortgage!). Of course, there are always pros and cons to any life situation. There are things I really miss about being at home with my kids and there were things I really missed about being in the workforce. I don’t know what the best option is, but I also am learning to practice gratitude and find joy in my present moment. I have a habit of changing my entire life in a day to try to find contentment. I struggle sometimes with not feeling like I am where I’m supposed to be. I’m not entirely sure where that comes from, but it’s a pattern I’ve noticed.

What I’ve found since going back to work is that I miss nature. It didn’t occur to me how much I relied on being outside to help me stay in touch with my humanness. I didn’t realize how dull I would feel working in a building all day. It’s like my soul felt deprived of a vital piece of nutrients. Maybe it’s something like what my kids feel when they haven’t touched grass all day. Cooped up.

I decided to utilize my 30 minute lunch breaks wisely. I needed to do something that would connect me to me again. I started a ritual of stepping outside during my lunch, even if for only 5 bitterly cold minutes. I live in Wisconsin and the winter is well upon us. My coworkers think I’m crazy for going outside on these -10 degree weather days, but what they don’t understand is that the minute I step outside and I feel the freeness of the wind on my face, I immediately feel better. I love how the sun touches my skin and gives the snow a magical sparkle. I listen to the trees and how their leaves rustle with the wind in the distance which sounds like an applause beckoning me to join in on this present moment. How life goes on. I remember how we as humans are wild like nature. I close my eyes and take a deep breath in. I remind myself that it doesn’t matter how ridiculous I look standing in the parking lot with my eyes closed, it’s worth the freedom-feeling in my soul. This is what I need to keep my soul alive. It feels good to be outside for 10 long, life-giving breaths. Is it convenient to make my way outside every day? No. Do I always make it out every day? No. Am I ever disappointed that I made it outside for a quick 5 min reset? No. Do the thing that feels good and that keeps you human. You are worth every bit of aliveness you can muster. Find a slice of nature today that makes you remember who you are, even if the only nature accessible is a house plant.